Testimony

Andreia, 29 years old | Personal Testimony

We grew up witnessing a wave of happiness whenever someone showed a positive pregnancy test.
There are exclamations, lots of smiles and a sparkle in the eyes, “congratulations”, etc.

When I saw my “positive” I also smiled and even managed to make a joke or two, but at the same time, I was overcome by panic.
I knew everything was wrong at the same time that I saw a dream come true.

While trying to make a decision, I started the process of Voluntary Termination of Pregnancy (IVG).

I heard the words "conscientious objector" several times and I just wondered if there was something wrong with my conscience.

I lived in Cascais and my case was transferred to Lisbon. It is frightening to think that we are in a capital city, which should be a center of development, and yet, in reality, it is only a small sample of what we think is women's health care.

The whole time I spent at the clinic, it felt like I was living an “illegal scene” from a movie.

I believe that not all the information we filled out on the forms was properly read and, furthermore, when I left the consultation, I came across a man, from some religious order, offering support to "lost women".

The psychological support offered during the process is provided by the clinic itself and is very biased. Private consultations are expensive. In the question boxes on Instagram pages, no psychologist knew of support groups. On the internet forums spoken in Portuguese, many in Brazilian Portuguese, the topic is: IVG was and is illegal. Even so, in these forums, most of them refer to spontaneous abortions or pregnancy losses and this, in my opinion, only widens the gap.

The few websites that mention abortion mention that women usually feel relieved after having it, because it is what they want - that was not the case for me.

Not that anyone forced me, but fear, rationality and logic, yes, and I believe that is the case for many other women, too.

Fortunately, I had a lot of support from those closest to me.

Fortunately, we live in a country where, legally, decisions that are very personal can be made, even if they are not yet discussed.

I'm not a mother yet, but I believe that being a good mother often means making difficult decisions.
At that moment, I was a better mother for deciding not to be one.