Testimony

By: Joana, Lisbon, 35 years old.

Am I a less worthy woman for forgiving one, or rather many, betrayals?

I've been in a relationship for almost ten years and, at the beginning of it, I forgave several betrayals.

There are women who tell me that they would " never forgive their partner " and I said that too, until I was in the lead role.

My partner and I parted ways, full of resentment, anger, pain and sadness, until we met again.

In the meantime, each of us did our own therapy. One to cure the reason for this incessant need for attention, caused by the absence of his mother, and I, to cure the feeling of rejection, caused by the lack of attention I felt from my father. I had no idea of ​​the impact this had and continues to have on me, until I worked on this point in therapy. 

Together, each with their own flaws, we were able to understand that what happened in the past did not mean a lack of love at home.

I am often criticized and have been called "a cuckold", "deluded", "toxic", etc. Other insults were directed at my partner. They said that I didn't see how he was a "narcissist".

Anyway, the truth is that he never held me responsible for any of his actions, nor did he show himself superior to me in anything, quite the opposite, he took responsibility for what he did and fought hard to be and do differently.

I went through difficult times and had difficulty trusting again. I am human and, more than that, I am a woman! Women are constantly suspicious of everything and, often unnecessarily so.

We have no control over anything, and what I realized in the process is that I was no saint either. I didn't do the same, but I wasn't a saint. No one is.

Each of us has different needs, different flaws.

We are human, could it be any other way?

It makes me sad when I realize that there are women who are cruel to each other and many of them may even be experiencing a similar situation.

I want to believe and I have this hope that society can be kinder.

There was repentance, there was a change in attitude, and there was personal growth.

If there is love, people should be together and that is what happens to us, period.